Still the best

I first saw this maze game years ago, and it really is difficult and addictive. I was just reminded of it today, so I thought I'd share...

(for you weenies, I just tracked down a much easier full-screen version)

Various definitions of "dead"

A fun trifecta in my e-mail provider's entertainment news today:

For those keeping score, Britney is doing her level best to commit careericide, while Seinfeld is just painfully unfunny. Oddly enough, both are still very rich, as far as I know.

Seriously, have you seen the "Bee Movie TV Juniors" on NBC? How that dude manages to keep getting unfunnier is amazing, considering how high he set the bar in the '80s. I have actually preferred hearing Toby Keith call a truck a "big dog daddy" over and over the past few weeks, and I have previously ranked Toby Keith above Gargamel on my list of all-time villains.

Overheard in the newsroom

I'm a fan of those "overheard" blogs and columns.

Had to share this overheard snippet of 1 minute ago:

"... pigeons taste pretty good."

I don't think that tops a snippet from the same person a week or so ago:

"I've never got a speeding ticket, but I ran over someeone once."

Creep-you-out Friday

This one is more of a mental-image exercise. Following is the headline of a press release that a certain famous preacher's foundation just faxed us:

BILLY GRAHAM RAPID RESPONSE TEAM DEPLOYS TO CALIFORNIA

The splash graphic at billygraham.org further highlights the absurdity:

I'm not trying to make fun of the guy, mind you - hell doesn't sound like a place I'd like to go to - it's just that they probably could have picked better wording. Anything that makes me think of Billy Graham hoisting a fire hose is... well, it's creepy, isn't it?

In other faxed-in religious news, apparently Radio Disney edited the word "God" out of a commercial for the movie The Ten Commandments. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't God one of the main characters in that story? I mean, isn't that like trying to advertise "The King and I" without using the word "king"?

T-shirt tour, part 2

People often ask about my "Beware of perverts" shirt, which looks like this:

I really wasn't planning to play wardrobe docent, but oddly enough, an AP story today updates us on the long-running Japanese-train-groping phenomenon (that's groping on trains, not groping trains):

-----
Cell Phone Message Warns Train Gropers

By HIROKO TABUCHI, Associated Press

TOKYO (AP) -- Did you just grope me? Shall we head to the police? That's the message women are flashing on their cell phones with a popular program designed to ward off wandering hands in Japan's congested commuter trains.

"Anti-Groping Appli" by games developer Takahashi was released in late 2005, but has only recently climbed up popularity rankings, reaching No. 7 in this week's top-10 cell phone applications list compiled by Web-based publisher Spicy Soft Corp.

The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone's screen to show to the offender: "Excuse me, did you just grope me?" "Groping is a crime," and finally, "Shall we head to the police?"

Users press an "Anger" icon in the program to progress to the next threat. A warning chime accompanies the messages.

The application, which can be downloaded for free on Web-enabled phones, is for women who want to scare away perverts with minimum hassle and without attracting attention, according to Takahashi's Web site.

"I first downloaded this as a joke," said Spicy Soft official Michika Izumi. "But I think it could be a lifesaver if I get groped."

Brought to you by the letter H

Alert reader Joanna B. sends us this... erm, nugget.

-----
PLANO, Texas—(BUSINESS WIRE)—Oct. 22, 2007—J. C. Penney Company, Inc. (NYSE:JCP) today announced that Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, Myron E. (Mike) Ullman, III, is scheduled to have elective, laparoscopic surgery on Oct. 31 to improve certain physical comfort-related symptoms stemming from a medical condition he has had for more than 20 years.
-----

"Certain physical comfort-related symptoms"? Joanna suspects that the good folks of Plano are just too polite to say "hemorrhoids."

I'm inclined to concur, except that who on earth would wait 20 years to take care of that? It's the sort of problem you should nip in the... erm, never mind.

A question of when, not if.

As a way of doing penance for missing my first Creep-you-out Friday in months, I offer this Sunday night headline, courtesy of cnn.com:

Waffle House brawl lands Kid Rock in jail

How could the man surprise us less?