Friday, September 28, 2007

Creep-you-out Friday



The first Ronald McDonald commercial, as apparently played by Willard Scott. I can't decide if that makes it more or less creepy.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

USA! USA!

I frequently repost images from BBC News' Day in Pictures, which I look at just to get a brief glimpse of what's going on in the 95 percent of the world that isn't America. It's often novel, exotic, sometimes confusing stuff, and seldom does a day go by on which I'm not overwhelmed by the sense of how much there is that I have yet to experience, that I'll have to race to get to by the end of my pathetically short existence.

So imagine my swell of patriotism when the DIP turns its attention, as it does occasionally, to my very own homeland:


Did you hear my proud silent tear just now? Of course not; it was silent. Still, it's there. Congratulations, you guys.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Potty humor overload

I'm not sure that, humor-wise, I can improve on the mere fact of this product's existence. Have a press release:

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Transform Your Toilet Lid In Seconds.
Uniquely Decorative Toilet Tattoos Make Bathrooms Flush With Beauty.
www.Toilet-Tattoos.com

(Macedonia, Ohio) - It's a product that will add a creative new decorating touch to bathrooms and restrooms worldwide. For years, the only toilet decorating options were the dreaded rug-like covers that Grandma used or the more permanent decorative seat. But now a new patent pending concept in toilet d├ęcor called Toilet Tattoos is aimed at satisfying today's modern need for an easy, quick and changeable decorating solution.

The Toilet Tattoos are the only toilet lid embellishment on the market that is removable, reusable and wipes clean. Toilet Tattoos can transform the look of the toilet by just peeling it from its backer card packaging, placing it on the toilet lid and smoothing it out. Because Toilet Tattoos are made from electrostatic vinyl film; they are reusable and will not harm the toilet lid when removed. Toilet Tattoos come in a wide array of designs including: classic patterns, wallpaper styles, whimsical themes, floral scenes, seasonal & holiday motifs and more. The company is also able to reproduce original paintings or photographs onto the Toilet Tattoos.

Oddly pensive Monday

Two recent deaths:

Robert Jordan died Sept. 16. His "Wheel of Time" series of novels spanned over 3 million words (and counting).

Marcel Marceau died Sept. 22. He is famous primarily for not using words.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Creep-you-out Friday

Sex scandals? Voter fraud? Pork barrel politics? Amateur stuff.

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Headless corpses raise ritual killing fear


By John Zodzi Fri Sep 21, 11:01 AM ET

LOME (Reuters) - Six grisly murders in Togo in which the victims were decapitated and drained of their blood have raised fears of a resurgence of ritual killings ahead of parliamentary elections in the West African state next month.

The serial killings occurred last weekend in the southern Vo and Lacs prefectures, east of the capital Lome. The victims included a 12-year-old boy and a 63-year-old woman and their severed heads were carried off by the killers.

The discovery of the headless corpses has shocked Togolese and triggered a wave of speculation that the killings were ritual murders. This is a practice still found in parts of Africa in which people kill to obtain body parts and blood in the belief they will bring social success and political power.

Update: Religion still weird

Cf. here. By the way, shame on all you guys for not catching it when I called Easter a "birth anniversary."

Thursday, September 20, 2007

A sexy rail-splittin' man

Is it just me, or does Abe's portrait look more confident and virile when removed from its silly oval prison?

"Hey, ladies. That's right, I signed the Homestead Act of 1862 and the Morrill Land-Grant Colleges Act. Who wants to see my stovepipe hat collection?"

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Friday, September 14, 2007

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Cryptic headline Tuesday


DiFranco's The Church Is Now Babeville

I recognize the words as English, but not so much the syntax. Anyway, the story's here, in case you have a burning curiosity.

What interests me most about the headline is that a couple of sets of quotation marks would help a lot, which is the complete opposite of most people's problem. In fact, I regularly read a blog devoted entirely to unnecessary quotation marks.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Creep you out Friday: Take anything you want!

I don't know how creepy this is, but it bloody odd. Check the one "robber"'s bandana tied under the nose. And the pastel '80s Cheryl Tiegs gym attire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhUFCgHJ6r4

Take anything you want! Take anything you want!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Landlord as tiny fairy

OK, I hadn't seen this one yet, though a gazillion others have.

Still, I'll share this link to a freaking funny video by Will Ferrell. (Thanks, Paul!)

Religion is weird

I was going to call this post "Hinduism is weird," but then I considered that there might be a perfectly valid explanation. For instance, consider this hypothetical cutline:

"In Dover, Delaware, Christian devotees hide eggs fashioned out of plastic underneath bushes as they celebrate Easter, the birth anniversary of the deity Jesus."

Of course I'm aware that "Religion is weird" is not an original observation, but golly is religion ever weird, n'est pas?

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Cheetos in the wrong, orange-stained hands

From Ask Porkchop's old pal Paul:

According to the Associated Press, 22-year-old Patrick Hamman of Des Moines, Iowa, was arrested for assault after he attacked his father with a bag of Cheetos.

Well, "attack" may be too strong a word. Hamman apparently threw the bag at his dad, Michael Hamman, and hit him in the face. The blow caused the elder Hamman's glasses to cut the bridge of his nose. Worse yet, the police report says "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust."

(THE HORROR! THE HORROR!)

We can only presume the bag was filled with the crunchy Cheetos, as the puffy kind would've glanced harmlessly off of Michael's face.

No word yet as to whether Patrick will cut the chee -- I mean, cut a deal with prosecutors.

(GOOD THING IT WASN'T A BAG BUGLES, OR WHATEVER THOSE WACKY, SCREWY CHIPLIKE THINGS ARE.)

(yeah, you wish we had video)