Friday, November 30, 2007
About that name, Wikipedia says:
With a lot of time on his hands, Knievel began to get into more and more trouble around Butte. After one particular police chase in 1956 in which he crashed his motorcycle, Knievel was taken to jail on a charge of reckless driving. When the night jailer came around to check the roll, he noted Robert Knievel in one cell and William Knofel in the other. Knofel was well known as "Awful Knofel," so Knievel began to be referred to as Evel Knievel. The nickname stuck.
Apocryphal? Maybe. Awesome? Yes sir. Mr. Knievel, you will be missed.
Optimizing Flip Chip Substrate Layout for Assembly
High-density flip chip applications are commonly limited by the available substrate technologies. Accordingly, considerable design efforts are focussed on the optimized routing of signal, power and ground connections. More often overlooked are some of the effects of the substrate surface layout on assembly yields.
The first person who can tell me what any of that means wins something. Probably just the derisive sneers of your peers and loved ones, but that qualifies as "something," right?
Fortunately, it's easy enough to distract myself by giggling at the pre-order password. Hee.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
VARIETY OF FACTORS CONTRIBUTED TO AVERAGE HURRICANE SEASON IN 2007, CSU FORECAST TEAM SAYS
Well, I was relieved when I saw that. I had just been wondering, "Why was this year's hurricane season so average? If only someone could tell me why it was neither particularly mild nor severe. Be it one or two compelling and interesting reasons, or various minor ones, I simply must know. Perhaps someone in Fort Collins, Colorado, could tell me!" My prayers, it would seem, had been answered - but my confidence in their abilities faded when I read the lede:
FORT COLLINS - Cooler water and wind shear in the central tropical Atlantic resulted in this season not being above average as predicted by the Colorado State University hurricane forecast team.
So, really, they just sent us a press release to highlight their forecasting ineptitude. Way to go, PR team! If I may, let me suggest this alternate headline:
OUR BAD, CSU HURRICANE TEAM SAYS
"Maybe we should move closer to the ocean"
Monday, November 26, 2007
Holy Rodent! New Singing Mouse Delivers Religious Experience.
The creator of a new plush singing mouse claims it is bringing people of all religions closer to God. Aptly named "Angel Mouse," it sings three verses from the song "I'll Be There," which was made famous by pop idols Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson."
Creator Jay Kimhi says that the mouse is having a religious effect on those who listen to it. "I made Angel Mouse because there was too much bad news on TV and I thought this would lighten the mood. I never expected the strong emotional reactions I've witnessed from people who've listened to this mouse."
According to Kamhi, the reactions have ranged from sobs to laughter. "I've seen normal people spontaneously burst into tears as they listen to the mouse sing."
This reporter suspects that Kamhi is using an alternate definition of the word "normal," but one thing's for sure: you owe it to yourself to listen to Angel Mouse.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Meanwhile, Al Gore is apparently practicing for a new career as an illusionist. "I will now make your CO2 emissions... disappear!"
Friday, November 16, 2007
It's good to know that the military is finally able to acknowledge the existence of these fascinating, if imperfect, human/octopus hybrids, although it disturbs me a bit to see it dressed this way. Can't we at least let our genetic abominations have some dignity?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
If it was indeed a hoax, please let the record show that we totally called it - not that the story was that widespread anyway.
Furthermore, if the hoax was started by someone in India, we officially declare it the second-weirdest story from there today. Behold the first-weirdest:
NEW DELHI - A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.
P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.
Selvakumar, 33, told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago.
"After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," he said in the report.
"Arguably Israel's biggest rock export" -Harp.com
I, for one, would like to hear that argument. My other demand is a t-shirt featuring nothing but the band's name, so people will ask me, "What's a Rockfour?"
Seriously, though, the band sounds pretty good. Click over for some solid jangle rock.
I'm pretty sure they made up a problem just so she could pretend to be helping something. They made it sound as cutesy and ridiculous as possible, to trick bloggers into spreading it. It won't work, though, mark my words.
Elsewhere on that same news site:
His charges will be reduced to third-degree ducking-while-being-photographed.
Friday, November 9, 2007
There are several spine-chilling elements to this picture. First, there's the fact that at this resolution, you can't see any facial features except the gigantic, black, soulless eyes of the supposedly cute dolls.
But then there's the unspeakably evil tagline, "Celebrate precious blessings," juxtaposed with the rictus of pain on the face of the girl, who appears to be celebrating, if anything, some kind of hernia. We could call her eyes soulless as well, but it would be to miss the implicit cry for help:
"Please, mister," they say, "save me from this lifetime of forced labor. Take my bushel of apples and put me out of my misery quickly."
Maybe the "precious blessing" is cheap apples at the supermarket - but at what price?
*It's probably best not to ask what I was doing on preciousmoments.com in the first place.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
OK, time's up. What did you come up with? Is he pleading with the bus not to hit him? Perhaps he belongs to some strange bus-worshiping cult? By all means, leave your best guesses in the comments, then come back and read this actual cutline:
All right, one more question: what exercises do you have to do in order to gain this capability?
Monday, November 5, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
That's the amusingly cryptic headline on a release faxed to us by Xlibris, home of every kind of book you can think of . I especially got a kick out of it because I saw the headline before the letterhead, so it looked like a news release.
Anyway, the book is "Marvin the Magnificent Nubian Goat" by Carol Hair Moore, and it appears to be more Seuss than Kafka: "This is the story of Marvin, who lived on Moore Farm, as he tries to find out who he is - a peacock, a horse, or a kitten?" It seems to me like the title kinda spoils the ending, but if you're still intrigued, you can check it out here.