From Ask Porkchop's old pal Paul:
According to the Associated Press, 22-year-old Patrick Hamman of Des Moines, Iowa, was arrested for assault after he attacked his father with a bag of Cheetos.
Well, "attack" may be too strong a word. Hamman apparently threw the bag at his dad, Michael Hamman, and hit him in the face. The blow caused the elder Hamman's glasses to cut the bridge of his nose. Worse yet, the police report says "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust."
(THE HORROR! THE HORROR!)
We can only presume the bag was filled with the crunchy Cheetos, as the puffy kind would've glanced harmlessly off of Michael's face.
No word yet as to whether Patrick will cut the chee -- I mean, cut a deal with prosecutors.
(GOOD THING IT WASN'T A BAG BUGLES, OR WHATEVER THOSE WACKY, SCREWY CHIPLIKE THINGS ARE.)
(yeah, you wish we had video)