Michael Phelps returns to his tank at Sea World
A funny, if perfunctory, Onion story in the classic pile-on-the-jokes style - because God forbid anyone should be successful in a sport.
Oh - and what's that you ask? You would like to see an unrelated Gazette photo that I doctored in MS Paint a year and a half ago and rediscovered just now because of its alphabetical approximation to "Phelps"? Well, OK!