Faithful reader Bill R. has a St. Louis Cardinals desk calendar, from which he shows me the interesting pages, 'cause they're my favorite team too. Yesterday's snippet was a quote from four-time All-Star pitcher (and non-Cardinal) Van Lingle Mungo... whose name I just read for the first time.
Little did I know how much better it could be. Quoth Wikipedia:
Stories and anecdotes about Mungo tend to emphasize his reputation for combativeness, including episodes of drinking and fighting. The most widely told story concerns a visit to Cuba where, supposedly, Mungo was caught in a sexually compromising position with a married woman by her husband. The husband was punched in the eye by Mungo, leading the husband to attack Mungo with a butcher knife or machete, requiring Dodgers executive Babe Hamberger to smuggle Mungo in a laundry cart to a seaplane waiting off a wharf in order to escape the country.
To summarize: Once upon a time, a man named Babe Hamberger smuggled a man named Van Lingle Mungo out of Cuba in a laundry cart, in order to save him from certain death at the hands of a machete-wielding cuckold.
Whosoever can find me a radder, ostensibly factual sentence, will win a hand-drawn picture of a 1980s professional wrestler of his or her choice, produced and signed by yours truly, suitable for framing. Enter today!