A dip trip to flip chip substrate

The Gazette Sports e-mail box, having existed with the same address since roughly the beginning of time, gets a wide variety of bizarre off-topic e-mails. Take, for instance, this newsletter post from smtnet.com:

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Optimizing Flip Chip Substrate Layout for Assembly

High-density flip chip applications are commonly limited by the available substrate technologies. Accordingly, considerable design efforts are focussed on the optimized routing of signal, power and ground connections. More often overlooked are some of the effects of the substrate surface layout on assembly yields.

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The first person who can tell me what any of that means wins something. Probably just the derisive sneers of your peers and loved ones, but that qualifies as "something," right?

Creep-you-out Friday

Looking into their eyes, I know beyond a doubt that each one of these ponies is waiting for me to show the merest flash of weakness, so they can surge forward and suck my soul out through my nostrils. The fact that they are evidently coming corporeally to my town fills me with abject terror.

Fortunately, it's easy enough to distract myself by giggling at the pre-order password. Hee.

What big eyes you have

We just got this release from Colorado State:

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VARIETY OF FACTORS CONTRIBUTED TO AVERAGE HURRICANE SEASON IN 2007, CSU FORECAST TEAM SAYS
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Well, I was relieved when I saw that. I had just been wondering, "Why was this year's hurricane season so average? If only someone could tell me why it was neither particularly mild nor severe. Be it one or two compelling and interesting reasons, or various minor ones, I simply must know. Perhaps someone in Fort Collins, Colorado, could tell me!" My prayers, it would seem, had been answered - but my confidence in their abilities faded when I read the lede:

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FORT COLLINS - Cooler water and wind shear in the central tropical Atlantic resulted in this season not being above average as predicted by the Colorado State University hurricane forecast team.
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So, really, they just sent us a press release to highlight their forecasting ineptitude. Way to go, PR team! If I may, let me suggest this alternate headline:

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OUR BAD, CSU HURRICANE TEAM SAYS
"Maybe we should move closer to the ocean"

Just call his name.

This from the fax machine:

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Holy Rodent! New Singing Mouse Delivers Religious Experience.

The creator of a new plush singing mouse claims it is bringing people of all religions closer to God. Aptly named "Angel Mouse," it sings three verses from the song "I'll Be There," which was made famous by pop idols Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson."

Creator Jay Kimhi says that the mouse is having a religious effect on those who listen to it. "I made Angel Mouse because there was too much bad news on TV and I thought this would lighten the mood. I never expected the strong emotional reactions I've witnessed from people who've listened to this mouse."

According to Kamhi, the reactions have ranged from sobs to laughter. "I've seen normal people spontaneously burst into tears as they listen to the mouse sing."

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This reporter suspects that Kamhi is using an alternate definition of the word "normal," but one thing's for sure: you owe it to yourself to listen to Angel Mouse.

Two news quickies

The second version of that last headline sounds like a children's book title. The other one sounds like a boring rapper story. I never thought I'd argue against proper punctuation, but there you are.

Meanwhile, Al Gore is apparently practicing for a new career as an illusionist. "I will now make your CO2 emissions... disappear!"

Creep-you-out Friday

This picture from goairforcefalcons.com must have been recently declassified:



It's good to know that the military is finally able to acknowledge the existence of these fascinating, if imperfect, human/octopus hybrids, although it disturbs me a bit to see it dressed this way. Can't we at least let our genetic abominations have some dignity?

Our princess is in another castle

There aren't many things that make me teary-eyed but we can add to the list marching bands assuming the form of the Triforce while playing the Hyrule theme. If that didn't make sense to you, then (a) joo are teh suxxor, and (b) don't bother clicking through.