Apparently this is the height of Valentine's Day madness:
Introducing Subtle Butt ™ - Disposable Shields That Neutralize Odor Caused By (Gasp!) Flatulence
You can't make up stuff like this:
"In this politically correct day and age, farting is still a major no-no for both men and women, alike. Now, thanks to the geniuses behind Garment Guard, the disposable, self-adhesive discs that prevent underarm stains, you can fart smart!"
They're selling squares of fabric made of activated carbon that you place inside your underwear or pants with two self-adhesive strips. The activated carbon is supposed to filter your flatulence.
According to the company: "Now you can eat all of the beans and burritos you want and still have a social life."
5-pack for $9.95 - available in March