Wednesday, April 4, 2007


I'd like to tell you about Guy Finley, as a faxed press release has just told me.

"This amazing fellow, author of more than 30 popular books and audio albums, has spent the last two years perfecting a 16-CD audio program that reveal (sic) the Secrets of Being Unstoppable."

Used by Godzilla, Tiger Woods and the audacity of the Bush administration (zing!), the CDs evidently teach us to use "the vast storehouse of untapped energy within you that makes all things possible." That doesn't mean that the creator is exempt from some ribbing at the hands of his publicist:

"So what is the secret of this 'Guy?' What is it about this revolutionary new porgram that makes everyone want to applaud him? Just what is the 'secret' of this groundbreaking set of talks?"

If I were Guy Finley, I'd be all like "Get bent, press release. You'll see. I'm gonna realize my vast storehouse of untapped energy all over you." Then I'd hit it with my nunchucks.

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