Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A story about a man not named Jed

Here's the BBC's version of a news-of-the-weird-type story that's circulating.

Illinois baby obtains gun permit

Bubba Ludwig may only be 10 months old, but he has already successfully obtained a gun licence in the US state of Illinois.

Bubba's father, Howard Ludwig, applied on his behalf after his grandfather gave him a shotgun as an heirloom.

Mr Ludwig said he had not expected to succeed, but he filled in the online form, paid $5 and the licence was his.

If I may, I'd like to speak directly to this child's father for a moment.

Mr. Ludwig, I can't even fathom the reasons why you've done this. Named your child Bubba, I mean. "Bubba" is a nickname given to people by siblings and/or classmates in backwater communities (see Bill Clinton). It is a hillbilly affectation designed to ensure that the bearer will never be taken seriously by anyone.

A better idea would be to name your child something else - Christopher, maybe - and then, if someone starts calling him "Bubba," slap that person until he falls down, because he's trying to heap shame upon your family.

If you have more children - and something tells me you will - please keep this in mind.

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